The Age of the Male Bashers - Is it really them?

“Be careful if you make a women cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s ribs. Not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal, under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved. - Matthew Henry

How sweet this is, the fragile heart of a woman.  So fragile, yet potent enough to induce wrath from God himself if her husband or foe accidentally makes this creature of hormonal imbalance cry.  I remember crying over commercials when I was pregnant with my son and even crying when I saw a triumphant ending to many movies afterwards due to breastfeeding.  I have yet to come across a passage of actual scripture that states God has the back of a woman to such measure that even if she ignores His warnings and the flags that shoot up like rockets about a potential heart break, that God will jump over hurdles to specifically count her tears and come to her aid.

I could troll for days all of the male bashing, you better watch how you treat a woman, and post the unending lists of strong woman banner flying quotes that can be found posted on the social media pages.  My stance on this is PLEASE, get off of your high horse and sit down.

Although I am all woman, I am for girl power, I have given birth to three beautiful girls and have a slew of nieces and adopted nieces.  I am no fool to the traps women put themselves in due to bad choices.  Generally these choices insist in "love" after mother, friend, brother, brain and Christ himself tell you to not pursue the love interest or enemy in question.

Trust me, I've been the woman with the broken heart, I've been the fool that cried after leaving my open heart in the field with lions to be slaughtered for the fun of it and yes, I knew I was heading into dangerous territory.  I ran in head and vagina first into a pack of wolves with a badge of femininity on and a love potion in between my thighs that could bring down Superman.  Wrong!  I laugh at my past calamities and remember my stupidity in thinking that I could outsmart a lover with a goal:  to love me and leave me, to use me and abuse me, to take conquest, conquer and defeat me.  He was a stronger foe because he went in with his feet firm, heart set and mind made up not to love me.  And used my biggest weapon against me, love.

How imbalanced is that?  Is that not ironically the issue we all face?  Believing our cryptonite cooch can take down the player of the year and when we're wrong we go on a rant of how many bad men are out there and how there are no decent men left on the face of the earth?

I've never been one to say these such things because unlike many people, I'm honest with myself.  Some of us are honest enough to say, hey, he'll break my heart in the end but I will at least enjoy the ride.  Be that person, own up to the failure but please don't stamp all men horrible except your brother and father.  Admit it, you're not his forever woman, just as you've ran across your not forever man before.  We've all heard at least one fairy tale and have the sense enough to know that the prince doesn't fall for the willing all the time, all of the girls are willing, he falls for the one that is right for him.  You can have that.

While I was chasing toads my prince was waiting on me, in the background, being overlooked, being shrugged off because it just seemed too easy to have someone love me how I was, love me because he wanted me.  How hilarious to know that he knew I'd be his from the first moment he laid eyes on me.

You just got mad didn't you?

Well, it's true.  During my tenure in the jungle, there was someone waiting to love me the way I should be loved and when I slowed down, got to know myself, started speaking out loud to what I wanted and needed to be complete, my eyes opened and my maturity increased.  I then was led to this man who I knew all along, the man that was just right for me and thank God I took a moment to pray.  Thank God I turned the mirror on myself and stopped looking out the window.

I mean, it couldn't be everyone else with the issue.  After a while when all relationships end the same, when he stops being interested, when I get done being burned, it has to be something about "me".   Many will say they have this personal dialogue with themselves where they do an assessment but many aren't honest.  You go over the obvious:  weight, fashion, sexual experience, cooking ability, intellect, cleanliness, etc.  But don't get into your character.  What are you like when you're angry?  How do you communicate?  Are you an equal reciprocator?  Are you selfish?  Are you a ball buster?  Are you an ill-tempered woman?  Are you ready for a relationship?  Are you still carrying baggage?  Are you needy?  Are you seeking someone that you aren't?  Are you broken?  Are you still living with unforgiveness?  Are you faithful?  Are you looking for someone to come in like magic and fix you and carry the full load while you figure it out?

Well, these are some of the questions that should be going through your mind and to be honest, you've probably heard all of the answers but in one of your toddler tantrums you didn't swallow the pill of reality which more than likely would have set you free by now.

You could probably be frolicking through the park or having a marital escapade if you only....

I'll end this by saying. No, not all men are great, not all are amazing and ready for love.  Just as all women aren't.  You must take people on an individual basis, you cannot take one or more experiences and categorize the lot.  They say one bad apple won't spoil the bunch, well, five won't either.  There are millions of apples just as there are millions of men.

When finding your "rib cage" since you are created from the rib of man.  Seek the creator.  I'm serious.  You may not believe in God, but He believes in you and He believes in love because He is love.  Pray not just for the husband but pray to be the wife that your husband needs before you date, before you exchange numbers in Starbucks, before you make eyes at him from across the room and before you step out of your mirror after putting your best face on.  Pray to the creator of you and that man!  Be ready for some TRUTH!  No one knows the full ugly of you better than God.  Take it as a moment to change, correct and conquer YOU.  And when you are ready and have been open and the wounds heal and the bandages come off, open your heart again.  Then, thank Him for your man when he comes and blows your mind.  And when he does, keep the creator in your relationship because only He will keep you together.